gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
