I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
