Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize