At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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