Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
