Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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