Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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