how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
