What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
