he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
