Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I need a beard to bite.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize