i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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