left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize