I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
