Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
