I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
