i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
