Non-Jews are for practice
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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