i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
