Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
