i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
