I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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