Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
