He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
