I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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