We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
