What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
