Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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