And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
All the doctor said was why
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
