is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize