i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
