is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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