I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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