When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
