im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
that's an acceptable place to lick
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
