my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize