I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
