I wanna bring you to show and tell
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
