i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize