I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
