We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
