Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
