If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
