Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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