I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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