It's a beautiful day for a hangover
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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