a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
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Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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