dude i'm inner monologue high
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
