I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
