i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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