Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Come on in and take your pants off
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