I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
pray to the hookup gods
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize