Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
