Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
you never un-have a 4some
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Panties = found
Randomize
