Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
