Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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