I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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