if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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