you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
