Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
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