Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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