true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
