hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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