yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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