he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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