you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize