I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
